into a new year at Yale studying philosophy]

"a song of my song:
it's off in the distance.
it came into the room.
it's here in the circle."

life at the limits I am the last thoughts of a drowning man the panic - the calm

[last Saturday with Doug]

walking words
water running sounds
the light clarifies the lake
eyes running along the horizon
the mountain range

"in the sky, a moon;
on your face, a mouth.
in the sky, many stars;
on your face, only two eyes"

Otomi indian

what you let yourself think
what you accept

tentacle extension crash

well thought out - you don't have to think about it:
a chess opening

tradition : mindlessness
tradition : mindfulness

any walk through this world by yourself

"If you do not use your eyes for seeing, you will use them for weeping." - Jean Paul

life falls forward

I rain
you rain
he she it rains
we rain
you rain
they rain

dress like a tank

I war beautiful clothes - I must be beautiful.

I go to Yale - I must be smart.

where have I been walking
care to feel

mundanity - our god

the things we don't bother to say

jumpy with others, nervous with others

museums highly aesthetic places

ways to get bye

man hunter man hunted

mask: immovable face

the touching grace

love is a way of acting towards one another


witches of the wetlands

people of the void

what if the government has no secret information?

clenched in prayer - god have mercy

"she's a dreamer in drag disguise
the stars come out when she closes her eyes."

hello pain. goddamn you!

stomach aching rather than cock throbbing

has there ever been a society of shamans

can't push - can't change the tune

scatter the impression

world reforms

historically important - hysterically important


"life is only shared by the living" - M. Fox

smile central

a hug from the blind - greetings from the deaf

a concert of impulses

a b at the end of numb
I'm at the end of numm.

suspicious of others: fear for self

sullen women: sullen men

unspeakable acts: unnamable deeds

extra persexual obsession

games to play underground

the elegant disconnected gestures
the beer dribbles down
between the elegant lift of
the glass and the prepared lips.

wearing anger like crepe paper

looking at photographs the way you look at people
"a good likeness"

pretend not to understand

what can't be said
what can't I tell you

not to look too far ahead
the pain you might not avoid

prey to coincidence

coordinated integrated behavior

fight for one's simplicity

harmonies of nature - colors

"(aside): He has given away his gaiety, and now he has nothing." - D. Barthelme

"Imprecise sentences lessen the strain of close tolerances."
Donald Barthelme, 24

houses do not move in the wind

"living in our feet"

"Tonight at dinner I tried picking up my glass with my left hand instead of my right and I don't feel quite so self-assured."
Hugh Prather [?]

glory of signature

illusions of books as seeing truth

life is the process of living unbidden

if we are developing in a developing environment

the world outside books is not unfriendly

books: the illusion of experience

the moon from 75 mph

"A camel can easily slip through the eye of a five-hundred yard needle." [my friend] Russ Abrams

"you are not here to verify, instruct yourself, or inform curiosity or carry report. You are here to kneel where prayer has been valid" T S Eliot Four Quartets IV, 42

[Washington protest]


today I felt there is no reason to be afraid

vanity - the aesthetic of thinking you are hot shit. of not thinking about what you should be

what is a good thought?

the uncertain faces of the unformed, unrecognized, unexposed

indians seeing shamans as children

timid quiet antique people - you can talk to them but you don't

welfare farewell

puffed with riffs

the unfocused myopic faces, the private public, the people on the planet

art frustrates expectations


the bloom of youth - a fuzziness evaporates to leave summer

touch the native

"the unlived life is not worth examining"

housed: apart(meant)d

not to be best but to be

tongueless thoughts

moving from a mirror

the mundane myths - reveries

who makes waves

words in deed

in walking by each other on the street - do people not notice? do they notice and keep quiet? or do they just avoid eye contact, and don't think much about it?

they control you through sense
is everybody making sense?

incoherent coherencies

people do not relate through cosmic views, but through smiles, eyes and actions


trees in the city:
leaves swept away
sees on concrete - fruitless
secondary to telephone wires
1 square yard of dirt
arranged in rows

what does the moon smell like?

existential coordinated rituals within the system. a beautiful opaque involvement. a fantasy ridiculously beautiful.

to be do
anger running like a brook
a theory of inclinations - one does not defend inclinations in the same way

G: dumbly beautiful

head and shoulders like a cross

how does a dog decide what to do?

the shell of language

the pleasures of random stimulations


the strain on the women's face as they set themselves up alone. a failure to play.

earth rises over earth

thinking is sitting still, or perhaps walking about

the cold war - "the war" - it's cool

the numb of being

the warm goodbye

the crackling dry voice
the lowered voice on the telephone
high-polite low-gruff

drum as thunder

heading towards Totalitaria, Catatonia. Living in the land of law and order. Totaliterror

how safe a room
how dead a chair

join the jam

branches - reaching for the light

inter relation ship

lingers in the lion of his thoughts

discover me

we say different things, we act differently, using different tones, gestures, towards different people

the ugly truth
the truth shall set you free
make you sad
break your heart

"that place where we snared what we called life: our own love, as we tried in every daty to survive."

life as breakthrough
make your own Rorschach test

"objective"is what it appears to be
"subjective"appears to be without being so

a gesture: moving the face of the hand quickly in and out in front of the face: boing boing boing wah wha wha

goodness is energy too - not being attitudes which regroup at the first reaction.

"money like salmon fighting against the stream of objects.."

programs: accepted behaviors, opinion, eye movements

the daze war on

gno ledge

one can look more closely in woods

need for spectacle in the city

communal looking

nothing to look at but people

thankless tasks

the world is big but only so big

bop around the town
bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop

danger!!! not noticing people in their individuality anymore... are people individual..

the pain of life to be eaten, born

the points of silence - when, why

up on the thruway

sacred with teeth

what did the shadows tell you?

car carried

"at the critical moment, the leader of an army acts like one who has climbed up a height and then kicks away the ladder behind them."
- Sun Tzu xi:38

mood peace
growth and green leaves glisten
and lessen the vision of
carved ground scars
around, near and far

ambiguous objects let you see what you hope to see or not - complicity

sprrring -
rattles crackle the wires.

the time between my thoughts

what do you do when you don't think

the forest and the senses

basin shaman: the songs came from the North, just a few feet over the ground. he caught them.

workable reality

the ceremonies of entering a room

shake awake

what is there to figure out

what does time tell?

dissemble, dissimulate

"love is sex I care to touch"

wind in trees, over grass - does not ripple buildings

standing wave

sniffs of people

you've got to be somewhere

New Yorker cartoon: "Stay away from him. Every day is the first day of the rest of his life."

no pauses to think in tv news

your fantasy is not reality

diversionary tactics

seeing nature in visual field vs. seeing other things

the overview of separate realities
a friendship certificate

testicles are rocks in the stream of the bathtub of the imagination

how can someone be trained to be..

tradition - it feels right

use hands without knowing how

the jerks and ripples of human existence - Bogey

the ritual cleanings

defining vaguely

defending good English in bad English

caring for each other's possessions
compliments on clothes, jewelry

a field of various grasses
a field of vision

what kills softly with its songs? age

the coin-operated society

you can't tell anyone to trust you if the don't - well, you can say it

cars as rivers of blocks

from 30' to infinity - the distance out there is something else

the innocence of looking around in nature. harmonious transitions vs. eyes dull cars, unchanging uniform city

"... in the old days it was not unusual for a man to pay the value of one or two ponies for a song."
Densmor 926:60

prey to circumstances

among the inhabitants of Tierra del Fuego no instruments are known that are especially designed for sound. Instead they blow into the windpipe of a newly killed duck.." - EB 15:1077

"The poem is what happens" - Alain Arias Mission

"Blackberries are red when they are green" - Jared Bark

down in the manger again
meet me in the manger

"society" is not mom

media changed concept of neighbor

we do not visit food stores out of habit (habitual existence)

"daily wypers" - e.d.


children's legs

"wake me when I'm there"

"wake me at the top"

waiting for the tea to cool


philosophy written to be thought about

the gentle thorns of a cultivated rose

slap makes no mark on a dead body - Camus, Myth of Sisyphus

the forest (river, mountain, ocean) in my way

trees and older houses in city: shadows, sound, trees as eyebrows on windows

the warmth of a bulb

the traffic of clouds
never criss-cross

just because we are all searching so seriously in book, that does not mean that there is anything there...

listen - just keep still
agree - just nod head

"to pray is to think about the meaning of life"
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Notebooks, 73

were it not for nature, I would not go on, or not struggle..


cactus in the windowsill

just a sunny dream I had

bumbling about bumbling
boring you about boredom

the search that teaches

tendril voices
nothing tendrilled, nothing gained (maimed)"

people's love and seriousness should never be laughed at - cf. peace gathering

"the people goddamn 'em yes"

innocent cellular existence

the present urban environment is a desert - parking lots, freeways

by passing through,

beyond administrative evaluation and comprehension

"patterns of modern life"

sound collage: a heartbeat, soft laughter, a train

frenetic interlock of couples - dim lights, blind spots

the mask maker

what goes against money?

because we now roam the earth, use it, circle it... we think we must have some importance

the unmoved mover is a drinking, dancing smiling man

what is "too much education"?

philosophical discussion is a discussion among people educated in a certain way, who have read certain books.

"the modern illusion that knowledge leads to understanding" - A.J.P. Taylor

certain people (for various reasons) get different kinds of looks than other people - from different sets of people.

deathy old man

... got them refractory blues.

the reason you don't put on your clothes backwards is not because it is inconvenient. (it is inconvenient, but...)

there is a lot of poetry to be made

"and it comes to tending engines to make the air we breathe and food we eat..." - Sweet Life

everyone uses the same words - "I", "pain", "love" - differently at different times. the old, the young, the cynical

mother gnowsciety

a locked car


"mullioned by Mona Lisa the landscape lies fragmented and ignorant"

the smell of naked rocks

don't know (and can't tell) they history of anything, clothes, etc.

cats don't hear music

cars don't go sideways

facts change, but the description lingers

eternal truths are the most general facts

spaced society

"..if all one had was the reflection in the bottom of a glistening cup"

old fashioned - new fangled
new fashioned, old fangled

we have lost the illiterate perspective

the threat of expulsion from our society is not grave

(the) pencil shits

stripped roots

attention! A tension


the plant whose home is the garden bed, the table, the corsage, the grave...

behind our panes - weather and wind shields

the very tendency to oppose the surrounding environment is suspicious

forgotten moments and a sense of harmony

in the city we are rectangulated

the one mind explodes

"full-employment non-inflationary.."

the warmth of a lamp
the incense is aflame

the will to pilot apart from the herd is the will to power

the jazz of it all

scanning vs. drinking in

...and the only hands I stare at are my own...

her microclimate


fit to be models

no dark

Watergate: slaps of information


At the end of things
Flying my kite
Skipping a rock

Kan't pants

Trees standing th'air

Man with a book

Grace in a face
Facing different faces

Polite to be polite

In no one saw you do it, you still did it

The world outside of books is not unfriendly

Telephone - to speak with one's mouth

What is pattern recognition?

A pretty place

Why put designs on a basket?

A world without sanctuary

Can have language without dictionary

Rustling from the land

What is the ignorance that flees?

Viewpoint pleasures - through a beer-glass, with a pomegranate

Throw in one's lot with the behavior around you

Falling apart into philosophy

Psychoanalysis integrates life with fantasies and wishes, and draws one back to one's childhood

Function of not-understanding

Smiling is not an invention of the modern industrial state.

"..brain to brain.." N. Mailer

"come forth into the light of things" - Wordsworth

"Turtles and snakes,
turtles and snakes:
I'm gonna get to like em
No matter how long it takes"

- Jerry Axelrod

Use of paper clip

Trench - retrench

Execute-ive lie-ability

"one cannot have a firm grip on a jellyfish" - Paul Ziff, "About Behavior", Analysis, 1958

History: the activity of evidence - R. Creely

You take it from here - Charles Olson

The notion of antique books in early Greece.

Cars, plows: everything was once new.

Musicians atickle

... please do not study this book. Waster your time running your eyes over and over my words again..

the world as it stretches out into mundanity

group gestures | family signs | flow


get together and make music, drink, consume

May 6: It is Sunday morning. Marty is wearing one of Tom's shirts and Cathy's sister is wearing Pat's pants. Tom declares the party a success.

Dignity, character in our world (moves of the isolate)

Lab animal: live, whether being looked at or not


Outline: inline
Inform: outform

The dance of glance

A bag of must

Steering for excitement

Train for what to be second nature

To say I don't know but to care about finding out.

As death make people touch, extend an arm, comfort

"... that they rolled over, that the rose of their flesh shone where the drops still had not dried in the sun, that, together, they made a four-legged beast, and, from its making, locked that from that day they carried away remembrance..." - Charles Olson

tools as modification of environment:

diggingstick, spear, axe

lose your axehead, lose your life

"I kiss my traces"

the false substantiality of the recent past with its photographs and reproductions.

somewhere state and stance (tonight we dance)

Nature decomposing harmonies cut and sounded

Stands in steel and plastic against the seasons

Need the story be insisted

Relive the way hear

no greek factories left

well, what would you do if you were a slave

the tools are being forged

in a snapshot, man sits there forever

brittle pride... vanity crusting in lack of care

a more intelligent being - quicker in reaction, in intercoodination (not just in having better machines - can a cat drive a car?)

how are we smarter than cats and dogs? Quicker, longer lived?

Poetry as number of possible perceptions

Reins without traces

Philosophical system: misplaced intelligence

Information gathering behavior


"change the tire and pray for air..." - F. Schrier, Skull 31, San Francisco, 1969

after our tripe we were tires.(all reading)

can stare at leaves, trees, water, birds and people?

Reality in all its indifference

You you and you. In your mindless life

Did Mozart want to be a musician?

The one virtue - existence over time

The ethical computer will be laughed at

How much does the used car dealer know?


Hold on to your description, no matter how bucks. Can't. no!

Didn't see people walking around without heads

A dream is not a picture

We have transactions with people in our dreams

The pilings in the muddy water

What is taken for granted in a story - cars made out of gasoline

Meet over words

Categories chosen from working words
System is use of words

Category of magic

Shitstorm of the mind

Ride a vision

Orators draw applause

Have to plan out picture - not photographs

He was hard of hugging

What if you can't decipher your own notes?

Cambridge and the illusion of mind
(a trimmed paperback, a cassette player)
the hum: the illusion, vanity of the center
the delicate steps, hesitations and qualifications.

People are good if you are

Things you don't tell certain people - things don't arise

"we fear the shark in ourselves, having gutted a friends, or slashed the innocence of young love, torn apart some opponent, or bite by bite teased our parents into skeletons. It is the quick gunmetal turn and darting of our own minds that rise up towards us in those waters and threaten to discover our blood.

Winder Forest says that most people in power are sharks. They play amid a school of dolphins."

- J.B. Gerald, Conventional Wisdom

Steering self through life.